I know it’s been a real long time since we did this, so I’m hooking you guys up with a nice long one this time around…..
My mind often works in mysterious ways. At times it takes me to a train of thought about relationship advice and then switches things up and has me thinking about sports. I try my best to channel these ideas and put them all together in a coherent article. Truth is, it’s a struggle but I try to do my best because you guys don’t deserve anything less. With that, you have a front seat to my Scattered Thoughts.
RELATIONSHIP ADVICE
*I have been asked by women on more than one occasion how to deal with men. For instance, one of my friends, we’ll call her Jezzabelle, met this new dude and likes him a lot. The dude texts, emails and calls everyday. It’s as if he can’t go half a day without talking to her. So Jezzabelle and this dude met up after numerous conversations and did the business. Lo and behold, the frequency of texts, emails and calls has dropped in half practically. It’s like Allen Iverson morphed into Jason Kidd; instead of wanting to take all the shots himself, now he would rather pass. So Jezzabelle asked me why the sudden change. Keep in mind, this “lesson” is just as good for her as it is for any other woman (some guys might think I’m player hating, but I’m not, I’m forcing you guys to step your game up). Here’s what you need to know about men: they want sex, they want it with multiple partners and they don ’t like to recycle the same partner too often. That might sound harsh, but that’s the truth. A man’s that single is single for a reason: he does not want to be tied down. Hence, once he gets his piece of the pie, he is going to keep that woman at bay because he does not want her developing any feelings for him. Men hate having to screen calls because the woman he's dating keeps calling and texting. Therefore, if you’re looking for a relationship ladies, don’t put out until you truly know the guy. If you do decide to put out, give the dude some space; suffocating him will only drive him away and result in you becoming a sporadic booty call. If that’s what you’re looking for, feel free to check out the Booty Call Guidelines. If not, just trust me.
*Championship ring
Please hear me out on this one. When professional sports athletes win a championship, they are given a
championship ring. Once players obtain it, they feel a certain sense of prestige, entitlement and better yet, envy. The other athletes around them without a ring get jealous and wish they too could have their own championship ring; hell some wouldn't mind stealing yours. Where am I going with this? The same way professional athletes view a championship ring, women view a good/great man that way. They would love to find Mr. Right. However, unlike in pro sports, it's widely expected and it some instances encouraged to go after another woman's championship ring....i.e. her man. It's the reason why last week I posted this question on Twitter: Why are women attracted to men who are involved in a relationship? I got a plethora of answers on the question which allowed me to come up with a few reasons.
1. You want him, but he doesn’t want you.
Whether they are pretty, drop dead gorgeous or just plain hideous, women have gotten accustomed to the fact that men will attempt to make a move on them. When they meet the guy that shows little to no interest, the concept is an oddity to women. They have gotten used to the idea that even men that are invested in a relationship might take a pass at them. So when one guy suddenly doesn’t do it; a light switch goes off. She suddenly becomes intrigued because he is unimpressed and uninterested. The soon to be target speaks freely and doesn’t even bother to script his words; he is spontaneous and yet somehow mysterious. That’s usually the first step.
2. He’s a good guy
After meeting this new involved man , the woman doesn’t always have the intention of playing home wrecker, rather she just enjoys his company because he does not make any moves towards her and therefore they are able to hold real life conversations as opposed to discussing sexual feats and ways to get laid. These seemingly innocent interactions normally lay the foundation for her to move forward. If the conversations get to the point that she still thinks about him even when he is no longer around, she gradually starts envisioning possible activities she could entertain with this new guy. But what pushes things over the top is
the fact that he genuinely seems to care about his girlfriend/wife and makes decisions based on her input. Women dig that ish. A man that consults his better half when making decisions will make his wife’s friends
jealous. He has learned that it’s not just about him, and is therefore thoughtful, loving and most importantly……
3. He’s trained
Before the NFL season starts, the players go through training camp to get into the shape in order to be able to survive the rigors of the NFL season. Well relationships are somewhat similar. Every relationship a man has, prepares him for life with a woman. It’s like a training camp that never ends. But once you’ve been in a relationship with the same woman long enough, you have been trained to handle that woman and to some extent all other women. The involved man understands the concept of distributing house chores amongst each other, knows what pads/tampons that his wife requires during her period, understands that their will be family obligations when the holidays hit and so forth. You see, women would much rather have a trained man than train him themselves. Don’t believe me? Let me put it this way: Would you rather sign Philip Rivers away from the Chargers (and know what you’re getting from the get go) or take your chances in the draft on a 21 year old college quarterback? It only makes sense to go after the known commodity right?
NFL
*Don’t look now but December is rolling around. If you love the NFL, do you know what this means?
1. 50 Cent’s new album is titled Before I Self-Destruct; Tony Romo has been listening to it all of November. Draw your own conclusions.
2. With the playoffs fast approaching, expect teams to be more and more desperate (yes I’m talking to you
Eli Manning).
3. Since Tom Brady has become the starting quarterback of the New England Patriots, he is 29-4 in the month of December.
4. With the Bengals leading the AFC North and the playoffs approaching, it means we get to see more Ochocinco.
*Can you imagine what would happen if the Bengals made the Super Bowl? Eighty-Five would literally spend the whole at the podium answering questions from reporters from all over the world. I’m not sure anybody else would get the opportunity to be interviewed. A guy can wish right?
NBA
*Are the Cleveland Cavaliers in trouble?
The team initially had trouble with Shaq in the line up because players weren’t sure how to play with him. After a few games, the players seemingly got accustomed to playing with him and won a few games. But then Shaq went down with an injury and was forced to miss some games. The team is used to playing without him because this same team sans Shaq made it to the Conference Finals last year. Then the Diesel came back to the line up and the team once again struggled to adjust their play with him. Keep in mind, Shaquille O’Neal probably plays in less games per year than Vince Carter; and that’s saying a lot. Therefore, the team might go through some funks likes this all year as O’Neal goes in and out of the line up. If by March he’s ready to go and play like a serviceable center, that’s perfectly fine. But what if he’s not? I’ve mentioned this before, but Shaquille O’Neal’s legacy might hinge on his performance this year with the Cavaliers. If LeBron James doesn’t win a title this year, it won’t cause much of an uproar because he is Usher performing on stage with a bunch of back up dancers. But Shaq? 20 years from now, you’ll be trying to explain to your son that Shaquille O’Neal was the most dominating force the NBA has ever seen and that he played with Penny Hardaway, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Steve Nash and LeBron James and yet only managed to win four championships. And then other people will bring up Tim Duncan. Long story short, the Diesel needs to be a handyman at this point and fix things up if he wants to keep being mentioned in the same breath as Russell, Wilt, Kareem and Hakeem.
*The NFL has Chad Ochocinco to entertain its fans off the field. But who does the NBA have? At this point, Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson and Rasheed Wallace are probably the closest we have and yet they still fall short. But nonetheless, they still bring entertainment. Recently, Sheed made a statement about how the NBA game had issues because it allowed players such as Hedo Turkoglu to flop in games and get away with it. I couldn't agree more; flopping hurts the game but it might be masking something far more dangerous to the league that no one wants to admit....
*Do teams with multiple international players lack toughness?
I'm not saying that it's true, but the question has to be asked doesn't it? I watched Raptors star Chris Bosh over the weekend get dunked on and kicked in the midsection by Paul Pierce (all on the same play). Pierce defiantly stood over Bosh like he had just taken his money, his cars and his ho*s (Pierce just wants to be Successful). And yet, not one single Raptor came to his defense. The only crew with enough backbone to make a fuss about the whole thing was the coaching staff. Picture that; your head coaches being more rugged than your basketball team? How does that make sense? I remember a few years back, Earl Boykins went to the hole, got fouled (can't remember the player that fouled him) by a big guy
and who then started mouthing off with him. Kenyon Martin immediately stepped in and told him to stay the hell away from Boykins. That's what strong, united and tough teams do. When the Celtics won the title two years ago, they were physically and mentally abusing teams. When the Lakers won the championship ring last year, they refused to get bullied by the Denver Nuggets. Every time Dahntay Jones tried to get physical with Kobe, Kobe retaliated. When K-Mart tried to go shopping at Gasol's store, he set up shop and sold him all of his post moves merchandise (available in Laker gold, place your orders at HeGotPaued.com). But then again, people forget that Gasol had been shell shocked in the Finals the previous year against Kevin Garnett. He eventually got the necessary swagger and confidence to take it to dudes on the big stage. But is Gasol the rule or the exception? Feel free to chime in on this one.
* DISCLAIMER: Celtics fans beware, you will not like this part.
My friend Money and I were talking about the Pierce on Bosh dunk last and we were discussing the fact that none of the Raptors stepped up to defend Bosh. Money said that the Raptors should have looked for Ray Benzino to come and have Pierce backtrack form his thug stance. Ouch…..
*If you’re an NBA fan, I urge you at all costs to get Bill Simmons’s The Book of Basketball. I know you might be meaning to get to it but you’re not sure if it’s worth it. Take it form someone who’s read the whole book in a week and a half, it’s well worth the price of admission. Let me tell you what you’re missing if you don’t get the book:
-The history of the NBA from the start up to today
-Bill Russell vs Wilt Chamberlain; should it really be a debate?
-A look at all the MVPs in league history and if applicable, did the right guy win it
-The creation of the Playoffs MVP instead of just the Finals MVP. This helps you understand who the truly dominant playoff performer was for that given year
-The Sports Guy’s version of the NBA Hall of Fame (amazing chapter)
-The 96 best players of all time
-The 10 best teams in the history of the league
-If aliens invade Earth Independence Day style and you get to pick any player out of NBA history , which 15 guys do you pick? Also, when picking these players, from which year are you picking him? (example: do you pick 1992 Michael Jordan or 1996?)
-And lastly why Shyne (me) should be in the basketball Hall of Fame for my written contributions to the sport. Fine, I’m not in there but I’ll forgive the oversight and expect to be in the next Simmons book.
If these topics aren’t enough to persuade you to get the book, you’re not an NBA fan. That’s all I have to say.
HIP HOP
*Bear with me on this thought. Imagine if I were a young aspiring rapper and I suddenly made it big thanks in large part to another rapper that’s made a name for himself in the rap game. I am able to get on songs with the likes of Jay-Z, Kanye West, Trey Songz and Gucci Mane to name a few. I’ve become so big that now my groupies have groupies. If I made a song titled Best I Ever Had and dedicated to an unnamed woman; and kept saying “this song is for you, you know who you are”; couldn’t he be talking to just about any woman from his stable of hoes? Hate to put your business out there like Drake; but you not fooling me. Which is ironic because he has a song in which the chorus says “We just don’t believe you”.
*One of the best rhymes ever dropped in a song goes to Ransom from the A-Team (stemming from a while back) on a Are We Cuttin’ cover:
“Better grab your knife/
I can tell you ain’t a thug
You scared’a blood like Magic’s wife”
Now that’s a killer line….
*Those close to me know that I am a huge fan of Jersey rapper Joe Budden. As a result, I sometimes put up some of his lyrics here on the site but I never feel completely comfortable doing so because I am completely biased when it comes to Jump Off Joey. But last week, I was talking to the Bx Bomber and he mentioned to me that he thought that Budden was indeed a great rapper. He urged me (not knowing that I’m a huge fan already) to listen to the song Sidetracked. So that set the groundwork for me to give you my eight favorite Joe Budden songs. I’m not saying these are his best songs, just my favorite. In case you’re wondering why only eight as opposed to 10; it’s because I was torn on the remaining songs.
1.Three Sides To A Story: Joe puts you in the mind of Derek, Bo and Sally in a twisted story of love and hatred. Derek is the big brother, Sally the younger sister and Bo is the guy you’re going to get to know (have to let you figure it out as you listen right?).
2. Pray For Me: Joey dies and is at the Pearly Gates. He attempts to negotiate his entry into heaven with God.
3. Long Way To Go: The rise to the top is a tough process. It takes time and work. Joey explains what it’s like for him as a rapper.
4.Sidetracked: It’s easy to get distracted when you have so many things on your mind.
5. Exxxes: Joe’s talking about a girl that keeps hurting him. But the more you delve into the track, you realize he’s talking about his bout with depression.
6. Just To Be Different: Jump Off details what makes him so different from everybody else and asks the question “Why try to fit in when you’re a standout?”
7-8.Pump It Up & Focus: Pump It Up and Focus were the first songs I heard from Budden and they got me on to him
*Can the people at Interscope please release Eminem’s second album this year?
*Canibus has AGAIN realized that his rap career is going no where (it’s a shame really, because the man knows how to rap) and has thus decided to release a diss track on Eminem for the sake of getting people interested in him. The irony of this move though is that Relapse 2 (Eminem’s 2nd album this year) is set to be released later this year which will probably translate into more album sales if he decides to reply to Canibus. What does it mean for Can-I? Let’s check out his win loss record:
1. Loss to LL Cool J on 4,3,2,1. That one is crazy because they were on the same song and yet LL dissed him on it; this should be worth two losses but will only count as one.
2. Loss to LL Cool J with the track The Ripper Strikes Back. It’s a perceived loss more than anything but a loss still.
3. Loss against Eminem in a series of back and forth songs.
Did you count any wins in there? Does Canibus’ track record inspire any confidence whatsoever? Didn’t think so.
THE “FAILURE TO KEEP IT PIMPIN” AWARD
*I’m not one to get into confrontation, but last week I felt as though I was done wrong. Back in July, I wrote an article comparing certain NBA players to some rappers in the game today. My boy Money is a huge Hip Hop fan (check that, he’s the biggest Hip Hop fan I know). So he took my article and sent it to one of the editor’s at AllHipHop.com and asked him if he would like to run it on the website. He never got a reply. But this week, the website actually took my idea and ran it on their website. I dropped them a comment about it, and obviously they never got back to me about it. But nonetheless, I just felt as though I should let you guys know. Here’s the email that Money sent with the article included
From: NAME REMOVED
Sent: Sunday, July 12, 2009 4:29 PM
To: EMAIL REMOVED
Subject: check out this piece
What up Jigsaw, below you’ll see some columns a friend of mine writes up just for fun and shares with us. If you feel some of his work might be a good addition to the website, hit me back!!!
HIP HOP & NBA
Basketball and Hip Hop go hand in hand like black people and chicken, strippers and cocaine and white women and black men (just kidding). Watch an NBA game and listen to the songs being played in the warm ups, time outs or during the games; in general they are all Hip Hop songs. With that said, yesterday I was having a quick talk with Money and started thinking about associating rappers with NBA players. So let's give it a try. As an added wrinkle, I will try to find a song from the rapper that best identifies the NBA player in question.
Michael Jordan
Rapper: The guy I wanted to put here initially was none other then the Notorious B.I.G. But I gave it some more thought and Biggie wasn't cutting it in the spot of MJ because of his tenure in the game. Where Michael was like a chain of porno movies, Big was just a sequel. Although he was great, we did not get enough of him to put him on the level of Mike. So who else we do we have? Money is a die hard Nas fan. In his mind, Nasir Jones is the best rapper that has ever graced the world. I will agree that Esco is one of the best that we have ever seen pick up a microphone, but I will respectfully disagree. The guy that makes it here for me is none other then Sean Carter. Jay has the years in the game, the album sales, the lyrics and the respect of fans and rappers alike. Think back to a few years back where we were starving for some great lyrical content because no current rapper out there was able to give it to us. The Jigga Man came back and dropped this line" I can't leave rap alone, the game needs me". That says it all. In addition, Hova and Mike kind of have similarities in their work. Short of any Reasonable Doubt, Michael came in and shocked the league and had one of the best seasons ever scoring the ball at a clip of over 35 points per game. MJ then persevered and reached the mountain top; and once tragedy struck, he left the game. Although he left, he could not stay away, he came back and had his best season ever individually and collectively in the 1995-1996 season where he led his team to an NBA record 72 wins which set The Blueprint for a dynasty.
Jay-Z track that best encompasses MJ: Encore
Kobe Bryant
Rapper: Kobe Bryant is one of the most gifted players the NBA has ever seen; and yet he is widely despised by several fans and media members because of his attitude, his actions and comments. So in this case, it was important to find a rapper that was arguably one of the best in the game but that was also a polarizing figure much like Kobe Bryant. In this case, the guy that best fits the bill is none other then Marshall Mathers. Kobe Bryant and Eminem have been in the spotlight at times for all the wrong reasons. Kobe Bryant dealt with the sexual assault case in Colorado, the break up with Shaquille O'Neal and the beef with Karl Malone because Kobe thought he hit on his wife. Eminem was in the tabloids because of his on and off again relationship with his wife Kim, his use of the word nigger in a song he composed when he was around 17 years old that Ray Benzino leaked out during his beef with Em and his addiction to pills. So despite the personal accomplishments in their respective careers, they have been cast very negatively in the media (understandably so). And yet, their peers recognize them as some of the best to have ever done it in their fields. Kobe can play a defender like a puppet at the expense of his teammates and make it look astounding just like Marshall can rap so brilliantly about swallowing Valium pills with his daughter present that we forget that it was irresponsible of him to do so as a father. Such are their fates. For all we know, between their accomplishments and failures, we might one day always associate one with the other.
Tim Duncan
Rapper: I thought about this one for a while and had to check in with Money in order to get a second opinion. But the guy that best fits with Duncan is former Deathrow member: Dr. Dre. Some might think that the comparison is completely off (hell I thought it was at initially) but the association works perfectly. The Doctor comes with no flash or publicity whatsoever; he just spends his time in the lab and whenever he decides to come out with something, it’s always a classic. The former West Coast rider has been able to achieve greatness and generate envy from his peers in an era where he competed against the likes of Jay-Z, Nas, the Wu-Tang Clan, The Notorious B.I.G., Tupac, Snoop and Big Pun just to name a few. Where rappers were battling it out and trying to sell records, the Doctor did not have to try. Although he does not have many solo albums (four), he was still able to move units while the previous rappers were trying to do the same. People tend to forget that just like they tend to forget that Duncan beat out Shaq & Kobe, LeBron James, Kevin Garnett, Dirk Nowitzki, Steve Nash and Jason Kidd in the playoffs on his way to multiple championships.
Dre track that best encompasses Duncan: Still Dre
Shaquille O'Neal
Rapper: Several guys came to mind as a prospective rapper to represent Shaq. But few properly wore the hat (or doo-rag) like Curtis Interscope Jackson. 50 Cent fits the bill in more ways then one. He ruled the mixtape world and brought to life the careers of Lloyd Banks, Tony Yayo, Young Buck and eventually The Game. After reigning supreme on the mixtape world, he got signed by Interscope and then all hell broke loose. Fiddy hooked up with the Dr. Dre and his G-Unit soldiers to release one of the most anticipated albums ever: Get Rich or Dye Tryin. 50's union with Dre and Em led him to an ascension that mirrored the Diesel's career after he teamed up with Phil Jackson. Nothing would ever be the same. Shaq became arguably the most dominant force ever in basketball (while he helped shape the careers of Penny, Kobe, Wade and perhaps now LeBron) and 50 became an entertainer unlike anything we had ever seen before. Fiddy changed the game and made it cool to talk about gun clapping and drug smuggling (disagree all you want, but people became more tolerant of these subjects after Fiddy came in the game). Both individuals left their imprints respectively on their brand of entertainment. In addition, Curtis and Shaq share their wild desire to publicly take jabs at whoever they wish. Whether it's 50 that's taking shots at Ja Rule ("Youz' a pop tart sweetheart, you soft in the middle,I eat for breakfast and your watch was exchanged for your necklace) or making fun of Weezy's kiss on Baby or Shaq asking an audience to ask Kobe how his ass tastes or calling Stan Van Gundy a master of panic, these high profile characters never lack the ammunition.
50 track that best encompasses Shaq: Back Down
Kevin Garnett
Rapper: This one came fairly easy to me. I needed a rapper that was highly emotional and never minced words. He had to be able to consistently get his message across regardless of the audience. If that wasn't enough, our rapper had to be able to disrespect some people flagrantly and yet be respected for doing it. Our rapper of choice, none other then Mr Heartbreak: Kanye West. Kevin Garnett has been known to be a huge trash talker and also a player that often harshly gets on his teammates (earlier this season, he made Glen "Big Baby" Davis cry on the Celtics bench after what seemed like a lyrical assault on his manhood and rhetorical questioning on the size of his cojones) to set them straight. Kanye West is just about the same. Whether it's with songs like Big Brother or Jesus Walks, 'Ye wears his emotions on his sleeves and makes sure that they are out their for the world to see (like having tantrums at awards shows). And yet, critics, fans and rappers alike all enjoy what Kanye brings to the game. His ability to bring his emotion into the booth and put them on wax is quite astounding. As far as I'm concerned these guys associate perfectly with one another. They have both reached the mountain top after years of staying on the grind in the industry; and when they showed their colors after reaching the promised land, the world embraced them.
Kanye track that best encompasses KG: Champion
LeBron James
Rapper: It's no secret that LeBron James is my favorite player. No one in the league has the total set of skills that King James possesses; he knows when to get his teammates involved and create shots for them, knows when to score, knows how to lock down on defense and shut down his player; and he even gives you a little entertainment in warm ups. I must caution though, LeBron is still at a relatively young age, so his best has yet to come. Therefore, what we are witnessing right now is his path to greatness. Like a rapper we have seen before, LeBron has captivated us with his talents as well as his charisma and ability to lead but also follow. The rapper that best fits the bill is none other then the Notorious B.I.G. Christopher Wallace spoke about his crack slinging days, the hustle he had to be part of in order to feed his daughter, the stress he dealt with when he found his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and obviously the tons of women he fornicated with. Big could never be cornered as a lyricist because he was able to come at you from multiple angles and styles and yet still be efficient in painting his picture. The same way no double team could contain LeBron James, Biggie could always improvise and get his way out of jam.
Biggie track that best encompasses LBJ: I got a story to tell
Honorable mentions:
-Dennis Rodman & Ol' Dirty Bastard: Crazy and addicted to something.
-Penny Hardaway & Ja Rule: Started out their careers big and then completely dropped off the map.
-Robert Horry & Nate Dogg: Ultimate wing men. Great performances when riding the coattails of a star.
-Ron Artest & Cam'Ron: Never sure what they're talking about.
-Kenyon Martin & Styles P: Two guys I would never mess with.
-Tony Parker & Wyclef Jean: Part of a great squad and both rap in french.
-Gilber Arenas & The Game: After getting rejected by a squad ( Team USA and G-Unit), they entertained a personal vendetta against the members of the group that rejected them.
-Carmelo Anthony & Jim Jones: Stop Snitchin' movement
-Patrick Ewing & Memphis Bleek: Every chance to step out of the shadows and achieve greatness but just couldn't.
-Shawn Kemp & Akon: Baby mamas in different area codes.
-Allen Iverson & Dame Dash: You couldn't pay these guys to shut up.
-Andrea Bargnani & Rick Ross: Both are the object of ridicule.
-Glen "Big Baby" Davis & Young Buck: One cried on the bench of a nationally televised game and the other cried in a recorded phone conversation with 50 that hit the internet.
SITES WORTH CHECKING OUT
Steelergurl: Steelergurl is a really cool girl that runs a blog on her Pittsburgh Steelers. Feel free to check her out.
Fantasy Daddy: The Daddy hooks you up with all the info you need about fantasy football and also gives you in depth analysis about the San Diego Chargers. FD even once let me write an article about the Chargers despite my allegiance to the Colts. That’s just how cool they are over there.
The Hip Hop Chamber: My boy Drew Breezzy runs a mean Hip Hop blog where he provides you with daily updates on everything you need to know about the Hip Hop music. Not the gossip or beefs though; just the true art form of rap. Please give him a look.
Fantasy WisDome: Drew also runs this blog site. He hooks you up with some great fantasy football info.
Raptors Republic: For everything you need to know, want to know and live to know about the Toronto Raptors; this is the spot. Can’t say it any other way.
Rocking The Rims: Rim Rocker Geelob has been rumored to have dunked on Shawn Bradley; however I cannot verify the validity of that statement. Nonetheless, Geelob hooks you up with some videos of the games that happened throughout the day or the night before. Check out his blog.
Sports with Mr. Factoid: Factoid breaks down the world of sports for you.
CS Hoops 2000: Get your daily sports info on the NBA and NFL. Stop by and drop a line!
Shyne’s Ipod Rotation
Royce da 5’9 ft Busta Rhymes – Dinner Time
Royce da 5’9 ft Mr. Porter – Mine in Thiz
Slaughterhouse – Cut You Loose
Velvet Trench Vibes ft David Hodges – Hip Hop
Eminem – My Darling
Cam’ron – Homicide
The Game – Westside Story
Joe Budden – Forgive Me
Charles Hamilton – Rockin’ That Pink
Eminem – Must be The Ganja
50 Cent – Redrum
50 Cent –Flight 187
